


on the mend

by EmeraldTulip



Category: Love Victor (TV 2020)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Gay Relationship, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Gay Disaster Simon Spier, Gen, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Felix Weston, One Shot, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 01, Speculation, also pilar deserves rights maybe, background felix/lake is mentioned, i would die for victor and felix's friendship so here is them discussing the dance the day after, simon and bram and their friends are mentioned a bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24835678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldTulip/pseuds/EmeraldTulip
Summary: The night after the dance, Victor explains everything to Felix. Maybe he's looking for advice—and he can't bear to ask Simon for it now—but even if he doesn't get it, he does learn something new.
Relationships: Benji Campbell/Victor Salazar, Pilar Salazar & Felix Weston, Pilar Salazar & Victor Salazar, Victor Salazar & Felix Weston
Comments: 24
Kudos: 245





	on the mend

**Author's Note:**

> hi idk what this is but i love victor and i love felix and victor kinda messed up so. let's additionally note that mia is an angel and benji is a sweetheart. this fic is titled after the song i lost a friend, which was featured in the show.  
> also felix is nonbinary and bi so jot that down. enjoy!

“Victor?”

It’s Pilar’s voice, which is the only reason he drags himself out of bed to reach for a hoodie. “Yeah?”

The door cracks open and she peeks in, her eyes downcast. “Hi. Uh, you okay?”

He shrugs. He can’t answer that. “What’s up?”

She bites her lip, her gaze worried, but she doesn’t ask anything else. Instead, she says, “Felix is here.” She winces a little. “Papí didn’t want to let him in, but… I don’t know, I think he’s still kinda rattled, so he didn’t fight it when I opened the door.” The nervous rambling tone she gets is creeping into her voice, but she cuts herself off.

“You let him in?” he asks, and he hates how tired he sounds.

Pilar nods and pushes the door open a little more, Felix’s wild hair appearing as he leans over her. “Hi,” is all he says, and a strange wave of calm washes over Victor. He steps back and lets the door swing open, launching into a hug the moment the path to Felix is unobstructed. Felix stumbles back a bit, surprised, but regains his balance and wraps his arms around Victor in return.

“You have no idea how good it is to see you, man,” Victor mumbles into his shoulder and—god, he hopes he doesn’t sound clingy or weird or whatever, it’s just that he’s had the worst twelve hours of his life and Felix is literally the only person he can talk to other than Simon. And he doesn’t want to tell Simon just how badly he fucked up. Not yet.

Felix pats his back a few times before pulling away, smiling ruefully. “I heard you had a rough night.”

Victor grimaces. “Mia… she hasn’t said anything, right?”

“Just to Lake,” Felix replies. “And nothing specific, just about how upset she is. Lake says… well, you know. Pilar also filled me in a little just now.” He tilts his head at her.

Pilar is uncharacteristically quiet when she says, “I haven’t said anything to anyone else, either.”

Victor nods, just once. “Right. Thanks.” He closes his eyes for a second to collect himself before turning to her. “And I’m sorry for not explaining sooner, or telling you about Benji, I just—”

“I get it,” she cuts him off. “I mean, no, I don’t get it, but I trust you to explain.” She fidgets, shifting her weight from her left to her right foot. “I’ll… let you guys talk.”

“Thanks,” Felix says as Pilar stalks down the hall and into her own room, and she waves him off.

Victor pulls Felix past the threshold and closes the door, pulling his desk chair out from his desk with his foot. “If you wanna sit,” he says shortly, and Felix plops down.

“So,” he says, his normally goofy face unnaturally serious. “What exactly happened? I thought your master plan had everything covered.”

Victor groans, flopping back onto his bed. “I had it all under control until Benji told me to stay away because I kissed him. And Andrew overheard.”

“He told Mia?” Felix asks, his voice pitching up like he can’t believe it. “Andrew’s an asshole, but I didn’t think—“

“No.” He shakes his head. “I was an idiot—Benji broke up with Derek and he found me outside and kissed me—“

Felix raises an eyebrow. “Quick turnaround from like an hour before.”

“Yeah, I know.” Victor rubs a hand down his face. “It was a weird night. So I kissed him, too. But Mia saw us. I was gonna tell her today, you know that, I just—I didn’t want to hurt her and now I hurt her _more_.”

“I kinda got that part,” Felix says sympathetically. “Lake said—“

“Wait,” Victor cuts him off. “I thought you said you and Lake were over.”

Felix suddenly looks sheepish. “Yes. I did say that. And then she kissed me at the dance in front of everyone and said she wanted to be with me for real, so…”

Victor wants to feel happy for his friend, but painful traces of what he felt that night in the motel creep in as well. This wouldn’t have happened if he was just—if he wasn’t gay. He doesn’t want his life to be this hard. “Good for you, man,” he says, and he means it. “I’m glad _something_ went well.”

There’s an excited blush on Felix’s face that suddenly makes Victor forget about all the bad shit for a minute—seriously, he’s so happy that Felix got what he wanted. “It’s not about me, though,” Felix says, the smile melting off his face. “I just… wanted to see if you were alright. Pilar seemed a little… _off_ when she let me in, too.”

“Oh, yeah, our parents told us they’re separating last night,” Victor deadpans, and Felix sits up so fast he nearly falls off the chair.

“ _What_?”

“And then I told them I’m gay,” he adds.

Felix’s face contorts through at least ten different expressions in less than a second. “Huh.”

Victor smiles sarcastically, pressing his fingers into his temples in an attempt not to tear up again. “They didn’t take it too well, but I’m still here, so.” He shakes his head. “I locked myself in here before they could give me the Jesus talk.”

Felix frowns. “The Jesus—? Oh, like, the you’re going to hell thing?”

“Yes. Thank you, Felix.”

Felix looks unperturbed. “You know what I mean.” He waves his hand around. “Well, at least they didn’t find out about that time you skipped school and disappeared for the weekend, right?”

“Right,” Victor agrees. “Wait.”

Felix looks mildly pleased with himself. “Pilar said you were at a basketball trip at the same time you told me you were having a boy’s weekend with your dad. Plus, you came back all philosophical about gay stuff and came out to me. I’m weird, not stupid.”

“Dammit, I thought I was a good liar,” Victor frowns.

“Not to me!” Felix sing-songs, and Victor can’t help but laugh.

“Sorry for lying about it,” he says. “I wasn’t—I needed to go to New York and I couldn’t explain it to you guys, so…”

Felix’s eyes go wide. “You went all the way to New York? Why?”

Victor self-consciously rubs the back of his neck. “I, uh, went to visit Simon Spier.”

“Simon Spier!” Felix repeats, looking positively delighted. “Haven’t heard anyone talk about him in a while. How did you even find out who he is?”

“You knew him?” Victor demands, sitting up so fast his pillow falls off his bed.

Felix laughs. “Of course, dude. Not well, but he’s only a few years older than us. His sister is around Pilar’s age. We grew up here. You met him?”

“Ms. Albright told me about him and Bram,” Victor explains. “I found him on Instagram.”

“Albright, of course,” Felix snorts. “She _adores_ Simon. He was a theater kid.” He tilts his head at Victor. “Did you stay with him?”

Victor nods. “He and Bram live with some roommates in an apartment, they were really nice. _Really_ different from Simon, though.” Felix props his chin up on his hand and gives Victor a signal of _go on_. “Uh, they were great, we played basketball and they took me to a drag show. Simon gave me his jacket, as like, a symbol of the gay.” He laughs nervously, but Felix doesn’t seem weirded out at all—he still has the same intrigued grin. “Um, Ivy was cool. Like, if my sister wasn’t so angry and had short hair, you know? Justin used to be a mormon—”

“The Final Fantasy crystal?” Felix interrupts, frowning. “No, wait, that’s mormorion. You’re talking about, like, the Utah weirdos. Carry on.”

Victor holds back a laugh. “Well, Justin really helped me with, like… dealing with religious stuff. And Kim was very sweet, they use they/them pronouns…” He trails off for a moment, waiting for Felix to ask what that means—after all, Victor _just_ found out about all this stuff, there’s no way Felix knows.

Felix just stares at him blankly, as if he’s waiting for Victor to keep talking.

“I said, Kim uses they/them pronouns… which is interesting…” He waits for Felix to zone back in or whatever, but nothing changes.

After a moment of awkward silence, Felix nods slowly, nothing in his expression changing but his tone shifting to _uh duh_. “Yes. I heard you. Kim uses they/them pronouns. Are they nonbinary?”

Victor knows he’s gaping, now, but he can’t help it. “Yeah... how do you even know what that is? Bram had to explain it to me.”

There’s distinct confusion in Felix’s face now. “How do I know… what nonbinary is?”

Now it’s Victor’s turn to _uh duh_. “ _Yeah_. I didn’t know you knew what that means _.”_

A vaguely amused expression crosses with Felix’s confusion, and he starts to laugh. “Victor, oh my god.”

“ _What_ , Felix? And be quiet, if you take the Lord’s name in vain in this house my mother will slap you.”

Felix is clearly trying to calm down, but he’s still giggling. “Oops, sorry to Jesus. Victor, _I’m_ nonbinary.” The bewildered look on Victor’s face must set him off again, because his face starts to turn red beneath his laughter. “I have a pin of the flag on my backpack!”

“There’s a _flag_ for that?”

“Yes! There’s not just the gay rainbow!” Felix starts laughing again, and the sound is so contagious that Victor can’t help but start laughing, too. Literally, what the fuck.

He feels kinda stupid, now, so as Felix’s laughter start to die down, Victor looks him over. “How did you not know that I didn’t know?”

Felix has relaxed, but he still has the widest grin on his face as he shrugs. “I mean, I don’t really keep it a secret. And I use he and they pronouns, so it doesn’t matter to me. I just figured that you knew and that was why you came out to me first.”

Victor knows he’s pouting, but he can’t help it. “When you say it like that, I feel dumb.”

Felix makes a pinching motion. “Just a little.” He smiles—they smile?—again. “Seriously, no worries. I’m just vibing. Either way, I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me.”

“Well, yeah,” Victor says. “You’re my best friend.”

He watches as Felix starts rapidly blinking again. “Yeah, whatever, you’re my best friend, too.” He quickly rubs his sleeve across his eyes. “So, any Simon Spier wisdom for what to do with—” he makes a wide gesture “—all this?”

Victor checks his phone. No notifications from Simon, not that he expected any since he didn't ask. “No,” he sighs. “I should call Benji, though, I said I would.”

Felix grins wickedly. “Oh, I _see_ , we’re calling Benji?”

“ _Fuck_ no,” Victor says emphatically, laughing. “ _I_ will call him, and _you_ will be quiet while I talk and then drive me to the park.”

“Ugh,” Felix sighs, going limp in his chair, momentum spinning it around a few times. “The things I do for young love.”

His face is instantly hot. “It’s not—I’m not—“

“Dude, I’m messing with you,” Felix laughs, straightening again. “No pressure—there was none with Mia and there isn’t any with Benji, alright? Go at your own speed.”

Victor makes a face at him. “Stop being helpful. That’s Simon’s thing, and it totally takes away from your annoying energy.”

“I have _annoying energy_?” Felix gasps as Victor powers on his phone, laughing as Victor flips him off.

For the first time since Mia ran away with Andrew on her heels, Victor feels alright. He’s got Felix, he’s got Benji, hopefully he still has Pilar. If he tries really hard, maybe he’ll even still have Mia.

Felix falls off the chair when he spins it too fast, sending a cup full of pencils flying, and Victor holds in a laugh as he waits for Benji to pick up his call. Felix scrambles to collect the scattered pencils, muttering very ungodly things all the while, pausing every few seconds to shoot Victor a faux-mean glare. Victor just grins in return.

He thinks he might be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this was but thanks for reading lol
> 
> Reviews are, as always, appreciated.
> 
> find me on tumblr, my main is [@perseusjaxon](https://perseusjaxon.tumblr.com) and my writing blog is [@lowriting](https://lowriting.tumblr.com)!


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